Old Wounds
by Spectrum51
Summary: Mika Ryuugu left Ibaraki for Tokyo ever since her daughter Rena found her out. She lives with her daughter Ayano and husband Akihito, masking a facade of happiness. But deep down a mess of self hatred festers and she knows that she can't hide from Ayano or Rena anymore. What happens when Ayano says she wants an older sister? Will the two get along or be torn apart by old wounds?
1. Prologue

Old Wounds

There is always a deep-rooted fear within Mika Ryuugu's heart and mind. It is a panic that overtakes her core and flops through, making her guilty of all of her sins committed. But knowing that there is no chance for the old wounds to finally be healed without trace of scars she continues on with life along with her daughter Ayano in Hokkaido. Life there for her daughter is good, and Mika intends to make sure Ayano never learns the truth about the rest of her half family. Currently the two are strolling down the street together, Ayano's mother just having bought her a crepe crammed with strawberries and cream and chocolate.

"Ayano-chan, your birthday is coming up," Mika gently reminds her six-year old daughter. She is faced with a pair of wide-set brown eyes staring up at her. Brown. Not blue. Not blue like they could have been- No. Mika pushes thoughts of her old life from her mind as the two continue down the street.

"I know that, Kaa-san," Ayano chirps as she chomps into her crepe.

"What would you like for your birthday?" Mika asks. Now here is something she will be able to find. A doll, maybe, or a new pair of shoes.

"Mm…" Still holding her mother's hand Ayano gazes up thoughtfully at the glittering Tokyo skyscrapers- well, as thoughtful as one can look when they have chocolate and cream smeared across their mouth. The tiny girl is left to ponder what she wants, pale pink dress tugged by the wind. At last Ayano decides to announce her verdict.

"A sister. I want a big sister!" Mika stiffens at the word, quickening her pace so her daughter doesn't see the tears mingled of fear, guilt, and anger. It gnaws at her like a worm inside of an apple core, tearing through the soft flesh of anything good and sweet and then the parasitic being leaves the apple to rot while it leaves.

Ayano continues, still oblivious to her mother. "I want a big sister because you and Tou-san aren't around a lot because of your work. So I want a big sister as a friend who can be home as much as I like! I want a sister who likes to play with dolls and read stories and braids my hair and hugs me and is funny and-" Ayano looks up to see her mother hunched over with sobs. The inquisitive redhead asks, "What's wrong?"

No answers come out through Mika's crying. She knows that what she did then was unforgivable, and it still hurts even years later. She is sorry, but she cannot let Ayano near Rena in Hinamizawa. Rena will hurt her, tell, call her and her half-sister a liar. But the worst part is all that her older daughter says will be one hundred percent true.

And she hates herself for it.


	2. Alone

Old Wounds Chapter 1

"Bye-bye, Mii-chan! See you tomorrow!"

The two girls halt at a fork in the dirt road they walk upon as Mion leaves her friend to head home: Home to her grandparents and Shion. Rena wears her usual cheery beam and waves away her friend as she walks to a home of her own. What a perfect day it's been so far: Simply Rena and her friends enjoying themselves at school and having fun.

Already, Rena has planned out the evening's events in her minds Baking some of her special cookies for tomorrow is her top priority. She has everything she needs right before her in both ingredients and life. Friends, father, her steadily growing pile of cute objects, school, early autumn…

A single red leaf wrenches itself free of a branch and flutters against Rena's face. She giggles as the shiny tips of the leaf tickle her face before the wind tugs it away once more. Strange how the trees were once orderly and tidy with all of their fresh green leaves on the same branches. Now, everything is changing. At least it all looks exquisite with its warm colors.

Rena at last reaches the front door to her house and swings the front door open, chirping, "I'm home!" What a pleasant surprise it is when she sees her beloved father right there. But after a closer look, his expression is grim, his hand clenching the phone.

"What's the matter?" Rena asks.

"There's someone on the phone for you," her father informs tersely. Sweat gleams on the side of the phone he holds.

"Oh," Rena says, taking the phone from her father. She holds the receiving end up to her ear. There is a crackle of static before she suddenly hears a voice she never thought she would hear in her life again.

"Reina-chan…" Rena suppresses a gasp when she realizes the voice on the other end, blurred by bad connection and fuzzy noises, is her mother of all people.

"Okaa-san." Her voice is flat and full of hatred. "What do you want here of all places?"

There is a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"I have a daughter. From Akihito-san. She-"

"Liar." Rena cuts her off. "You want me to say sorry to you after all these years. But when you decided you didn't love Otou-san, you hid it from me. Is this the girl you were pregnant with that time?"

"Reina-chan, please hear me out. My daughter wants to see you again as a big sister. She wants a big sister, and-"

"I'm not moving to Ibaraki!" Rena snaps. "And don't call me Reina. The 'i' in that name stands for all of the icky things- like what you did."

"Rei- Rena-chan," her mother corrects herself, "I'm sorry for what I did. I really am."

"You just think that by saying you're guilty I'll love you again? I still hate you," Rena says. "I hate you for what you did, and your blood. Your blood is my blood, and it's filled with maggots!" Face twisted with rage she slams down the phone before her mother's response can be heard. Her father walks close to her and she starts with, "See-"

"I know. I could tell from what you were saying," her father's voice cracks slightly.

"I'm not moving to Ibaraki, Otou-san," she comforts him. "I'm not going to see Okaa-san. I'll stay right here in Ibaraki with you. I promise." Her father wants to say something when his mouth opens to speak, but he instead shakes his head as soon as he sees his daughter revert to her usual bubbly self once more. "Now in the meantime I have to make cookies for tomorrow." With that, the redhead skips off to the bright cozy warmth of their kitchen and starts to take out ingredients for her special cookies.

She begins with the flour, which promptly is emptied into the mixing bowl with a dull thud from the impact. Tiny particles of dust drift upwards and make Rena cough. Next comes the tiny grains of sugar which seep into the cracks in between the flour.

Ingredient after ingredient is poured into the bowl until Rena is left with a mass of white and brown splotches across the counter which can be easily wiped away, along with a few eggs. She picks up an egg, cracking it in half as she watches the sun colored yolk land in the center of the mixture. It loses shape and starts to ooze across the crevices of unfinished cookie dough. It is only then that the imperfect reality dawns upon Rena and her heart pangs in her chest.

Her mother taught her how to make cookies when she had the time to do so.

"Reina-chan," her mother would croon, "do you want to help your Okaa-san make cookies?" And then the little girl would teeter awkwardly on the chair while her mother's soft hands guided the pudgy fingers of the small child: Sifting flour, pouring the milk, cracking eggs…

Rena peers down at the mess of egg yolk sticking across her fingers and walks over to the sink to rinse her hands.

"But these are my cookies I'm making. Not hers." Rena tries to comfort herself with these words but her voice only ends up cracking in the desolation of her kitchen. "And I can do it alone just fine without help." Little balls of dough that smell like heaven are plopped upon large baking sheets before being tucked away into the oven.

 _I have real friends_ , Rena thinks. _Mii-chan. She's like a big sister to me, she's so fun. Shion who's so refined and pretty. Keiichi-kun, who said my pickles were delicious and that he'll wait for me at school. Rika and Hanyuu- so cute, I want to take them both home with me and keep them forever. Satoko-chan is plain funny and never fails to make me laugh. Satoshi-kun has one of the biggest hearts I've known. They're my family here, my brothers and sisters. I don't need a little sister._

 _But my little sister needs me._

She promptly opens the oven door. Greeted by a face full of heat, she whisks the cookies onto a cooling rack. The oven doors is slammed shut while Rena seats herself to work on her homework.

Her pencil is gripped tightly in her fingers. Otou-san was always the one to help her with homework. And Okaa-san would take her to fun places and give her parfaits and ice cream and cookies. They would go to the fair together and ride up on the Ferris Wheel together. Rena would always feel like queen of the world, perched up in her seat so close to the sky.

The pencil snaps in half with an unexpected crack. Bits of painted yellow wood burst and slide across the table. Splinters dig into Rena's fist upon impact. She picks out the splinters and drops them into the wastebasket before getting a new pencil. Steam billows from the cookies, signaling the demise of the heat crammed inside. Before she sits down she feels herself leaning over. Is she falling?

 _"Okaa-san, I want to try the cookie first!" The six year old bounces around, tiny white shoes slapping against the polished floor._

 _"Alright, Reina-chan. You get to try it. Be careful though," her mother reprimands, "And make sure you don't burn yourself." The child experimentally bites into a cookie before smiling._

 _"Yum!"_

Rena is tempted to push the cooling racks off the table but instead sinks to the floor, nails digging into the floorboards. She holds back the taste of rising vomit that fills her mouth as the sweet scent suddenly becomes sickeningly noxious. And then she stands up and shoves the cooling racks to the floor with a bang. Cookies tumble from the thin wires, crumbling against the floor in a mess of golden-brown.

Rena's father runs in at the sudden noise and sees his daughter shaking on the floor, clutching her head. How humiliating it is for Rena to be seen in such a pathetic state by her own father.

"I-I'll get the broom," she says, knowing that later on she'll have to slink away to the safety of the dumpster trailer. "I'm sorry."

"Rena, you can't just throw a sudden tantrum like that whenever something bad suddenly reoccurs in your life," her father says. "You have to be strong towards it. Am I saying your view towards Mika must change?" The rhetorical question hangs in the air.

"No. You're saying that I should find a way to move past it and leave everything behind. To give second chances." Rena curls her fingers into a fist. "But she doesn't deserve any second chances. After everything that pathetic excuse of a mother was given- a family, a good life- she turned all of it away. And then she has the nerve to call me up eight years after she leaves us and ask if her daughter can come to stay with us!" Rena's voice has risen to a loud screech. Her face is contorted into a grotesque expression of anger as she stares towards the end of the room where she picked up the telephone.

"Rena," her father says, "What Mika did was horrible. There is no other way to look past that." His daughter's breathing slows down and the angry lines stretching across her skin start to fade. "But you need to decide. Are you going to constantly be angry about this and talk about your own blood, hurting yourself, or will you be able to somehow know that what she did was horrible but that's over- and there is no reason to believe that you are somehow at fault with your own blood." Rena shakes her head, knowing that her arguments are pointless. With a jolt she steps last her father and says, "I'm going outside." Out to the security of her dumpster where she can wallow in her own anger without interruption.

When Rena reaches the dumpster the sky is a deep shade of scarlet. The trees are close to black next to the sky, clouds all but vanished. She asserts her balance over the piles of rubbish, down to the small dilapidated trailer.

She is only a few steps away when she hears someone ask, "Rena-chan?"

Mion stands on the edge of the dumpster, thick green ponytail rippling in the crisp breeze. Instead of her summery yellow T-shirt and jeans she now wears a light brown sweatshirt over a pair of black pants. Her sturdy, calloused fingers climb over the mounds of garbage as she skids unsteadily over the obstacles towards her friend. Rena turns away.

"Oh. How did you find me?"

"Well..." Mion pauses and runs a tongue over her lips to search for the correct answer, "You usually head off in this direction and I figure I'd meet up with you. I wanted to see if you were getting materials for a new Halloween costume, there are a few stores this way that sell fabric. Then I saw you standing there, at least I thought it was you-"

"Okay," Rena cuts her off. "I'd prefer to be alone right now, Mion." Her friend is confused at the lack of nickname and honorific.

"Is something wrong? You don't seem like your usual self."

"I'm okay," Rena is surprised at how easily the lie escapes her mouth. A somewhat disbelieving Mion steps away and turns on her heel to head in the other direction.

"This isn't your problem, Mion," Rena informs the empty air as she sneaks into the trailer. She turns on the light with a click. Rows of stuffed animals and extravagantly crafted dolls greet her, crammed far into their shelves. With a sigh, Rena lies down.

It feels good to be alone.

Or not.

She stares up at the starry sky map plastered on the ceiling, pointing out various constellations and horoscope marks. The colorful kanji is scrawled across the map, so Rena closes her eyes to block out the screaming colors that blur her line of vision. It feels better in the darkness of her closed eyes. Feels better not to have so many reminders of her mother hanging over her. Honestly, Rena doesn't have the faintest clue as to why she has kept the toys with her all these years.

The first drops of rain patter on the edges of the dumpster, dripping against the window and painting it in a messy speckle of transparent dots. Rena sits alone by herself, with the weak sputtering light and the many toys surrounding her. She'll come home for dinner later. Hopefully by then some of her anger will be washed away by small droplets of rain.

Author's Note: For those who are curious, know that this takes place AFTER the cycle of repeating worlds and arcs end. This can, however, be interpreted by readers as an entire world of its own. If the reader chooses to view it as such, consider the final chapter to come as a "good ending" to the arc and world that can be achieved.

Also, if you're wondering about the decision of Ayano's name, I chose this name because Ayano can translate as "design child". The translation is somewhat self-explanatory, but I would prefer for you to figure out why I chose that specific name for this character- it's actually kind of easy.

Thanks to HanyuuIzumi for taking the time to read what I had so far! I hope you enjoy some of what I recently posted.


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